Wednesday, February 6, 2013

One day @ A Call Center.

YO WELCOME TO CALL CENA. said the HR on top of his voice sounding like I'm the dumbest guy he ever met. His looks and the way he dressed himself indicates the standard of the company. Coming to the dressing part there is a portion where I speak about GD which was another lol moment related to appearances.

I was at Internal Plaza (Named Changed) with a resume in hand and also with a limited amount of anxiety on what's going to happen next. I look better than ever in my formals with a neatly polished shoe which I consider it to be the basics while attending an interview. I can feel the weight I have put on these days by staying all time at home. The extra value meal that Mc Donald's offer now shows up. Thanks to Free Recharge. The moment I reached the company's reception I was totally dumbstruck. 

Receptionist: Hi maaaa. What you need maaaa??! (He made it a habit of tagging "maaa" at the end of each word which irked me later on). His Identity shows that he is one of the HR in that company. So I'm going to name him as HR-1 hereon.

Me: I have been told that there is an Interview today. And Ms. Chaya fixed an appointment at 2PM.

HR-1: Okay maaa. Chaya madam is not here now maaa. She will come at 4PM. So there will be an interview now. And did you bring your Resume maaa?! 

Me: Yeah. Here it is. I handed him my resume with no point of interest after the initial impression this company has created in my mind. 

HR-1 : Okay maaa. Wait for sometime they will call you for interview he said and went busy talking on his mobile and land line at the same time. 

Me: God! It took me 5mins to make him pronounce my name in a correct way. Huh! Where these creatures come from. My name isn't that hard to sound. What if he was sent to China?! Hahaha. 

After 12mins another guy came rushing out of the cabin and started talking to HR-1 saying " We have got enough of it for the day" All are nervous while coming to interview. And lets inform it to the manager."  I don't know whether he said the right words or not. But it sounded so clear to me. And he looks like a server in a hotel or as a watchman for an apartment. And the funny part is his ID card even showed me that he was an HR. I guess these guys are redefining the meaning of HR and their roles. 

And this HR-2 once again had a quick look at my resume and ordered me to follow him. And finally he asked me to wait for sometime in a cabin where there is nothing much to observe. It has a chair, Land line, A pen stand and a open window which can produce a constant buzz of the lorry's horn. And the cabin next to me might be the training room for the selected employees. It reminded me of my school days where they keep repeating the words at a high pitch. And that's when the HR enters the cabin. 

The worst fears came true. HR-2 is the one who is going to interview me for the next 30-60mins. And I'm on full flow to shatter him into pieces. I thought it's no big deal for me. Now, I'm in no hurry to get into this job as I'm totally disappointed with their policies and standards. And he kick starts the interview in an old fashioned way. 

HR-2: Good Afternoon. Mr. Errr. (This man once again got my name in a wrong way) Hell ya. 

Me: That's Okie. 

HR-2: What you did?! Engineering?! That's fine. I guess your college is over and let me tell you that you have chosen the right area. 

Me: What do you mean by area?! I can clearly understand that I have landed at a wrong place. I made those words in mind and let a smile at him. Oh!! Thank you. 

HR-2: So tell me about yourself. (The very common question one has to face in any interview) 

Me: I kept saying in a flow. I'm sure he might have noted some words in his mind to refer it in dictionary later on.

HR-2: Okay that's fine. What do you know about a call center?! In his very poor UK and US mixed accent. 

Me:  Responding to customers queries. 

HR-2: Okay. What are the 3 important elements one has to follow working in a CC. 

Me: I'm not sure. But Patience is what everyone needs. Isn't it. I said. 

HR-2: Yeah. There are 3 more. And they are Communication, Confidence and Voice. 

Me: Whatever, I don't give a damn. I made a mental note of it. Okay sir, That's fine is all what I said. 

HR-2: Okay. Now I will give you 5mins of time. And you have to speak about anything you want for a minimum of 10mins. He said and left the cabin pointing that he is very busy today and he will be back soon. 

Me: Man. This is going to be crazy. Actually this session of interview is turning out to be the funniest thing ever happened to me. And I started enjoying it. 

HR-2 Entered the cabin after 10mins. He might have stuffed a samosa or something else into his mouth.

HR-2: Ready young man?! He asked with some energy that samosa gave him. 

Me: I'm all ready. As per his instruction I spoke about "The Most Memorable Day in my Life" the names of Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak startled him. I can sense that he is listening to those names for the first time in his life. And I'm slowly taking control over the conversation and also the interview. 

HR-2: Okay that's fine. This time he seemed really pissed off and starting hitting the pot saying that my communication isn't that good. And also took the extreme step of tagging me to the category of MTI Group.
and that's enough to set me on fire. 

Me: Oh! MTI?! Is it?! I can't believe. None of my trainees never said something like this. In fact they said that there is not even an inch of MTI in my accent. And I'm very much happy for that. I know what I speak. I learned the language in a proper way. I started arguing forgetting the fact that I'm just going to be at the receiving end. 

After getting pissed of he is now shocked. He has to do something to show his authority. And so he started boasting about himself. 

HR-2: You know Young man I remember my days when I see you. Okay. What's my age now?! Any Guess. 

Me: Something around 24-26. I gave it a burl. 

HR-2: I'm 29. And I have 10 years experience in this CC. And guess what my salary will be?!

Me: Something around 30-40K. I gave it a bit more. This ass don't even deserve 15K. 

HR-2: No man. It's 1.5L 

Me: You got to be kidding me. Is that your Annual Income?! 

HR-2: No ya. It's per month. You get a 15K with no experience. And I get 1.5L for my 10yrs exp. And I'm also the senior General Manager of this company. And I can deal any kind of problems with my finger tips. Tick. Tick. 

Me: Huh! This ass is now trying to take hold of the drivers seat. And I can't let him win so easily. 

HR-2: Before I could say anything he questioned me again. Guess what my Qualification would be?! 

 Is this an Interview or Amitab's Kaun Banega Karorepathi.?! 

Me: 12th pass?! or 10th?! Got stuck between these two. I'm sure this guy must be 12th fail and 10th pass. 

HR-2: Hahahaha. Laughed for a while. He looked horrible while laughing. No man. I have 4 degrees. 

I guess he might have mastered the habit of uttering lies with ease. And also making fool of everyone who comes for an interview. 

Me: Oh!! That's really great. Which Degrees?!

HR-2: I have done my B.Com, B.E, LLB, and LAW. And I have worked for nearly six months in Marine and got an handsome pay of 85K in the very first month. That's my track record.

I'm almost got stunned. How come one can fool many in this format?! Is he mad?! 4 degrees?! 10 years experience in CC and still his age now is 29. Surely he is trying to make me a fool by his irrelevant tactics.
God stop this moron.

Me: Oh!! That's fantastic sir. How could you manage to do that in less time. (I said. I have improved as an actor for clearing the gateway for an easy escape)

HR-2: Huh! That was the kind of dedication that we used to put back then. Now it all has changed. Any way I have another task for you.

And he kept a pen front of me and asked me to sell this pen to an UK citizen citing that I'm one among the citizens of UK.

Me: I did something which came at the point of time. And to worse the situation he said some useless DANNY expansions which is an absolute shit.

Huh!! He is testing my patience now. I want to get out of the cabin right then. I'm on hungry and this man is having loads of samosa's in the intervals he takes during the process.

After 15mins of interview which can even be called as interrogation he took a notepad near to his desk and started scribbling SALARY. With that I came to know that I have sealed a Job in this Company under this useless ass.

HR-2: So Young man. What Salary are you expecting?!

Me: Something around 15-20K.

HR-2: Ow. That's a big ask. I can promise you 10K initially and you can take your salary to heights by performing well so that you can get incentives.

Oh!! Okie. You dick. You interviewed me this long for just 10K and all you say is that I need to get training under your guidance for 12 days. This is going to be shit again.

Me: Okay sir.

HR-2: There are 3 shifts a day. Here are the timings.

Shift-1: General Shift: 9:30AM-6:30PM 

Shift-2: UK Shift: 4:30PM-1:30AM

Shift-3: US Shift: 7:30PM-4:30AM 

Note: US Shift will be having pick and drop facility and Dinner will be provided by the Company itself.

In which shift you would like to work?! 

Me: US seems alright to me. 

HR-2: Okay fine. I will put you in one of the companies which are under my control. Now you better book your slot by paying 500 bucks. And you can pay the remaining 5000 in the next 12 days. 

Me: WHAT??? 5500??! WHY?! 

HR-2: It's for your training purpose. We train you in mastering British and American accent in the period of 12 days. And you have to pay that. Usually we don't give training to everyone unless and until they are poor at communication. You seemed to be poor at English. And so we want to brush your English well so that you can have a bright future in our company. 

Fuck. You train me for your own purpose and I have to pay for that?! And you say that I'm no good at English. Okay. I'm not good. At least I'm okie with the language. Not as poor as yours. I'm going to kick you anytime now. I kept saying these in my mind. 

Me: Okay sure sir. I really worry about my communication at times. Thanks for the training scheme. 

HR-2: Okay. Be fast. There is only one slot available. The quicker you book the better for your future. So pay now. 

Me: Okay. I will think about it and let you know by tomorrow. Thank you sir. 

HR-2: No. No. You have to inform me within an hour. I have no time. or else someone is going to seize your job. 

Me: Okay sir. It was nice meeting you. I don't need this job. Thank you very much. I finally said. 

HR-2: Again Gobsmacked. He quickly recovered and said think about it. It's going to be your future and it's in your hands. 

Me: Sure Sir. Thank you. 

This man asked me about what is GD?! Group Discussion is all what I know. Correcting me he said it was Grooming Development. 

And this Grooming Development means change of life style into corporate standards. With some decent dressing and behaving which this 10yrs experienced man lacked completely. 

Finally I came out of the office and let out a huge sigh of relief. I really loved this interview for many reasons. I see in movies where the hero comes into action with a Resume and certificates in hand and will be hunting for job. And now I'm finding myself in the same position. Sealing a job is never such easy. But when you have the stuff you get the confidence like what I have done with this interview. Usually people opt to go for the training by paying the sum of 5K and joins. I can't really do that. I can't give away my good resources in one single shot.

This is not my area. Criteria has to be met. Never lose hope. There are hell lot of opportunities in our Country. Make use of it. And for now I had another copy of my resume in hand and started searching for another company.

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